My Journey
Throughout my life, school has never been something that has come naturally to me. Being diagnosed with learning disabilities at a young age, I grew up either getting pull-out services which made me fall further behind, or I was overlooked in the classroom to not hold other students back. I remember a strong feeling of inferiority because we as students were made to feel like we were defined by our academic performance, and I never seemed to be able to meet the academic standards as easily as my peers. When it came time to think about college, I never thought it would be an attainable goal for me. I did not want to feel alone when inevitably my friends would all go away to school. Because of that, I decided to apply as well, regardless of my test scores or GPA. I realized then, that I wanted to be an educator to ensure that no students with learning disabilities were overlooked, underprepared, or felt as though they were defined by their grades like I felt I was. When I went to my guidance counselor, excited and eager to apply to school, she looked at me and said “That’s great that you want to go to college but don’t bother applying to four-year schools because you won’t get in. Community college would be a better fit for you.” To this day, these words haunt me. This affirmed what I had felt about myself and my abilities. I was made to feel small and I lacked any confidence in my abilities to succeed academically and professionally.
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Upon my admission to Merrimack College for my undergraduate studies, I was placed into an academic bridge program designed for academically underprepared first-year students. We focused on critical thinking, active learning, and writing skills that we had not had the ability to learn previously. Being in this program completely changed my trajectory. From the first day of class when they told us that we would not receive any grades until the end of the semester, I knew it would be something I had never experienced before. With an abundance of support from faculty, staff, and peers, I remember thinking “Where were people like this for the past 12 years?”. My advisors and faculty members in this program had become my mentors and made a big impact on me. For the first time in my life, I had people outside of my family who invested their time and energy into my success. Meeting at crazy hours of the day to revise a paper, calling me when I didn't show up to class, and explicitly affirming my worth as a person and not just as a student was something that I had never had and made me want to succeed. In this program, from the first day of class, we began reading the book “Mindset” by Carol Dweck. Through analyzing this book, I realized the power of failure and challenge. I had developed a work ethic and a grit that many of my peers that were naturally good at school never developed. I began to understand the importance of appreciating failure because of the learning opportunity that it can be. After years of hard work and dedication, I not only have a Bachelor's degree in Human Development & Education, but I also earned a Master's Degree in Higher Education, with hopes to pursue an Ed.D in the future.
My Values
“In a growth-mindset, challenges are exciting rather than threatening. So, rather than thinking, "oh, I'm going to reveal my weakness", you say, wow, this is a chance to grow.”
-Carol Dweck
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This quote by Carol Dweck has guided me through my own learning in higher education by reminding me of the tremendous amount that I have grown, and will continue to grow, both in teaching and learning. My experience as a struggling student prior to college was treacherous and I did not become aware of the growth mindset until adulthood. Due to struggling as a student in public K-12 education, going into college, I lacked confidence, interest, and excitement about learning. After learning about the Growth Mindset, experiencing validation from others for the first time in my life, and taking charge of my learning experience, I began to feel empowered. I developed a passion for helping others who are struggling to feel this same type of empowerment about their abilities. Encouraging and aiding others that are where I was is what drives my practice. My passion for helping others achieve success, and human development is why I have chosen to enter the field of Higher Education. The excitement that I get from my own learning and development is something that I wish to emulate and cultivate in my students be it inside, or outside of the confines of a classroom. As a professional in Higher Education, I know that my responsibility is to cultivate students that are eager to learn, and create a space where they are able to grow and explore. I am excited to be a part of the next generation of educators in student affairs, and I look forward to making a positive impact on the lives of my students through the way that I teach them and learn from them.
My Knowledge
Through my professional experience, I have gained knowledge of what diversity, equity, and inclusion mean on college campuses. Prior to this year, I would often get frustrated because of a lack of understanding, however having the opportunity to discuss challenging topics in small groups with peers through this past year helped me think through key ideas. Understanding my privilege is something that I have learned a lot about as well. I think a lot of people hear the word privilege and get defensive, however I view privilege as more of an opportunity and responsibility. My Diversity & Social Justice course made me think about not only how higher education needs to be assessed to be more equitable and anti oppressive, but how there are systemic issues in our society that affect the equity of and access to higher education. There are so many aspects of identity that contribute to the diversity of a community. When I think about DEI work in our field, I think about how in a world full of judgment and hatred, we have the opportunity as higher education professionals to empower and educate future students to be value equity and be appreciative of the differences that everyone has. This is important because ultimately our differences are what make us who we are. Throughout my fellowship experience, I have educated myself about DEI so that I can better serve all of the students that I interact with through the O'Brien Center for Career Development. In my current role, there has been great opportunity to ensure that we are helping students to build cultural and social capital as well as financial literacy. These are topics that directly link to DEI work that I hope to do in the future.
My Skills
In participating in a fellowship position throughout my Master’s program, I have been able to develop professional skills to prepare me for working in student affairs in the future. Skills such as relationship building, time management, and adaptability are among my greatest strengths gained through this program.
Relationship Building:
Over the past year, I have learned how to develop relationships with supervisors, peers, and students. I have learned that each relationship is different in nature, but the way in which you go about fostering these different types of relationships is quite similar. It is important to make people feel valued, make them feel heard, and make them feel understood. In making people feel these three things, we can create a space for collaboration, fellowship, and community.
Time Management:
Time management has become something that I value and require for success. While obtaining my Master’s in Higher Education I completed a fellowship in which I spent 25 hours a week working for Merrimack College, was consistently a full-time graduate student, and held a part time job to support myself throughout the year. Balancing all of these responsibilities and still attempting to create time for myself, friends, and family, became instrumental in my success.
Adaptability:
Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, my job title and responsibilities have shifted drastically. Upon accepting my fellowship role in April of 2020, I accepted a position as the Internship Institute Advisor. As the College shifted to reopen as hybrid in the fall, The Internship Institute program was canceled, and I became the Graduate Fellow for Student Employment. My responsibilities with this title were to track and maintain student employment paperwork and data. Although I was excited to be doing work that was supporting the office, I did not feel as though I was learning about higher education through this experience. I realized that it was important to advocate for myself in this situation. So, three months into my position, my title and responsibilities changed again and I became the Career Development and Learning Management Advisor. Pivoting to different roles and responsibilities throughout this past year, has made me understand the importance of adaptability within a team.